The Dash

  

I recently attended my cousin's funeral. He died after having a heart attack from shoveling snow. As we walked to his gravesite for his interment, I noted the many tombstones, all with date of birth through date of death. The "through" was represented by a dash (e.g., 1929 - 2004). With the inscriptions on many persons’ tombstones limited to name and dates of birth and death, it would seem that the lives they lived were reduced to a mere hyphen, the dash. In those graves, there was no evidence of the lives they lived, the people they impacted, or the goals they achieved. I commented to my cousin, with whom I rode to the interment, that "the dash", the way their lives were lived, is what really mattered. In order for us to have a meaningful life, we must learn to live life to its fullest; love God, self, and others; laugh and have fun; and lift and encourage others.

LIVE. Live life it its fullest. Make the most of each day. Live a purpose-driven life, and do activities related to your purpose daily. Set SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound), and be accountable and motivated as you work to accomplish them. Develop a “bucket list” of things that you want to do and see before you die, and actually do them. Spend time doing meaningful things with meaningful people. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the significant and important factors. Release anger. Don’t hold grudges. Build bridges, don’t burn them. Forgive yourself and others. Move on beyond past hurts, pains, and disappointments. Take time to “smell the roses”, and appreciate the beauty in things around you. Look for the blessing in everything, because there is one. Be thankful for waking up, and find ways to enjoy each day, no matter how big or small. Do plan for tomorrow, but live each day as if it is your last, with no regrets. When you live life to its fullest and make the most of each day, you live a meaningful life.

LOVE. God created us out love of love to live a life in love. A life without love is not really a life worth living. Living a meaningful life means loving God, self, and others through our actions. Love is being kind and affectionate toward others. Love means being more other-centered and less self-centered. But you must love yourself first before you can love anyone else, including God. When you open yourself up to God’s love, you can love others more easily. You can acquire wealth, status, and materials good, and do kind deeds and give to charity, but not love or have love and live a very meaningless life. The Bible tells us to pursue love (1 Corinthians 14:1). However, the only real way to pursue love is to give love yourself. Love leads to love and comes from love. Living a meaningful life means seeking opportunities to demonstrate love to others. Loving others is showing patience when you have little tolerance left. Loving others is celebrating with them even when you have nothing of your own to celebrate. Loving others is sacrificing time and energy for their interests and endeavors, even with the hope of nothing in return. Loving others is forgiving the unforgivable. Love is always fruitful. Living a life full of loving God, self, and others will always lead to a meaningful life.

LAUGH. Laughter is medicine for your soul. Laughter is cathartic. It helps to release emotional tension, anxiety, and stress. Laughter makes your heart light and takes the focus off of your issues and problems. Laughter can distract you from anger, guilt, stress, and negative emotions. Seek and create opportunities to laugh and have fun. Don’t always take yourself or the situation so seriously. Have a laugh at your own expense. Sometimes, it’s worth it. In sad times, find the humor to help lift your mood. In angry times, call a funny friend or watch a comedy to help diffuse your temper. Laughter can help get you through some heavy times. It probably takes just as much energy to laugh as it does to cry. Imagine if you could go through life with a light, merry heart instead of a dark, heavy heart, how much more meaningful life would be. There is nothing like a sense of despair to zap the meaning out of something. However, in the Bible, James tells us to “count it all joy” even during trials, because it’s a test of our faith (James 1:2). So laugh and rejoice more, cry and despair less, and live a more meaningful life full of joy and strong in faith.

LIFT. Living a worthwhile life means encouraging and helping others. Seek and take advantage of opportunities to assist others. When someone seems despondent or depressed, provide a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear, and words of encouragement. Do things to help improve the lives of others. When you see someone struggling or in need in the community, in your family, at your job, or in your church, make an assessment (either by observation or conversation) of what they need and how you can help, and do just that, help. There are so many ways to motivate, encourage, and help others – big and small. Help with your time, talent, money, or other resources, in whatever way you can. Help a single mother, a wayward teen, an elderly person, a widow, or a challenged student. A little help or encouragement goes a long way in the lives of others who are in need. Reach out to others in some significant way to help enhance their lives, and you will live a more meaningful life.

Live, love, laugh, and lift your way to a more meaningful life, and make your “dash” matter!

Jacinta M. Gray,

The Couch Coach