The Emancipation of IT

   

One of my pet peeves is the use of the catch phrase, “It is what it is.”

Everyone says it, from the radio commentator to my co-worker to my dad. (Sorry, Vee.)

Please, let us liberate “IT”. Let’s take it out of the nice little box that we have all placed it in recently.

Your team lost. It is what it is.
Your marriage failed. It is what it is.
You got a bad review. It is what it is.
The price of tea went up in China. It is what it is.

If I hear that phrase again, I will scream.

Arrggghh!!!! Someone just said it!

Why does this phrase cause me so much consternation? Because it is a very limiting phrase. By saying “It is what it is”, we limit ourselves to the present situation. We leave no room for improvement, progress, or change. I like to say in reply to “It is what it is”, “It was what it was and it will be what it can be.” Quite a mouthful, but a far more positive confession.

Let’s take the limits off ourselves and give “IT” a fighting chance.

I will not argue that with some things, “IT” really is what it is. Like God, He is who He is. He is unchangeable. And we certainly cannot put Him in a box. His ways are not our ways, and we will never fully comprehend Him. I am an African American woman – “IT” is what it is. But even in those things that truly cannot change, we can refuse to box ourselves (or the situation) in because of the facts. I could choose to accept defeat, and say, “Well, I am a black woman. It’s hard for us. I can go but so far. We have limits.” Etc., etc. etc. Someone might have been born or diagnosed with an incurable condition. Even if the condition “is what it is”, how the person approaches circumstances and life, in light of or despite the condition, is not etched in stone.

We should not define ourselves by the facts and circumstances. We should define ourselves by the way we react to and arise above them. Again, let us refuse to settle for “IT” – no matter what the “IT” is. Regardless of the facts, let us emancipate “IT”. Let’s think of new ways of seeing the circumstances, situations, or even the facts. Everything is subject to interpretation. Why not let your interpretation be the least limiting, most positive, liberating one?

When we say, “It is what it is it is”, we let ourselves become victim to our circumstances and situations instead of victors despite them. In his book, “Think Big”, Dr. Ben Carson suggests that remaining a victim of our circumstances is a choice that:

• allows us to blame other people
• lets us blame our circumstances
• permits us to avoid responsibility for our lives
• encourages us to feel sorry for ourselves, and
• guarantees that we will stay victims

We do not have to be victims of our circumstances and situations. We can “think big” to become victors by successfully taking “IT” out of its box by:

• keeping an open mind, free of limiting thoughts
• taking ownership and stop displacing blame
• thinking of creative ways to change your situation or impacts of your situation.
• asking yourself, “What can be done differently here for a better outcome?”
• using different lenses to view the circumstances
• reminding yourself that if you are saying, "It is what it is", there is always room for improvement, change, or progress
• using your sphere of influence to help others’ circumstances change, and lastly,
• repeating after me: “It was what it was….It will be what it can be…..”

Please, just for me, set “IT” free!

Jacinta M. Gray,
The Couch Coach