Saturday, August 29, 2009

Ministry

 
We all have a ministry.

Many people think of ministry as “fivefold” ministry (Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor and Teacher) or a church-specific ministry (such as music ministry, women’s ministry, children’s ministry, youth ministry, missionary ministry, etc.). Ministry extends beyond the walls of the church and the umbrella of church sponsored activities.

Your ministry is actually walking in the purpose for which God created you. Your ministry is not your gift. It’s the use of your gifts for the purpose for which you were created. God has created you with many gifts, some stronger than others, but all relevant to your ministry.

Your ministry can be tied to both your passion and your pain. I like to say, “Your misery is your ministry.” Others may say, “Your test is your testimony,” or “Your passion is your purpose.” Your ministry will always involve helping others. God uses your trials and experiences, your misery and tests, to help others through your ministry.

Once you discover your purpose, your ministry will seem implausible, unbelievable, unobtainable, and impossible to achieve. This is a good thing, because you will know that it requires God to accomplish. God desires faith and reliance on Him. With Him, all things are possible.

Some people discover their purpose early in life, and begin walking in their ministry at a young age. Others pursue other interests or paths, and they one day realize something is missing or there is a greater purpose for their lives. Others receive their callings or uncover their purpose early, but they can take years to implement their ministry. Implementing your ministry requires both your willingness and God’s timing.

I received my calling to become a Christian Counselor in 1998, 11 years ago. For me, it began as a desire to discover my spiritual gifts. I prayed about my gifts, and God told me that “People” was my gift. I knew that “People” was not an actual gift, so I prayed more about my specific gifts. I received in my spirit that my primary gift is “Exhortation”, which is the gift of encouraging others. This was no surprise to me, as I was always the “go to” person for my friends, encouraging them and giving them advice.

The more I prayed, the more I discovered about my gifts and calling. God told me that my purpose involved relationships, “dead” relationships specifically. This made complete sense to me, as I had experienced the pain of the complete death of a relationship. (“Your misery is your ministry.”) I also had a passion for reading books on relationships. (“Your passion is your purpose.”)

At the time of my calling, God also instructed me to get my Master’s and Ph.D. in Christian Counseling – I was in the middle of working on my Master of Science in Information Systems degree at the time. I was a little puzzled, but God wanted me to complete that first Master’s degree before pursuing the next. I did not question this. I knew it was all a part of God’s plan for me. It would all come together for my ministry….eventually.

As I continued to pray, God showed me the “what”, but not the “how”. He showed me that my ministry would involve writing, teaching, and speaking, like Joyce Meyer, but for relationships. Wow. This, the “what”, did not overwhelm me, because this is what I prayed for. This is what I pursued – my calling, my purpose, my ministry. The “how” is what wowed and amazed. How in the world was I going to become this huge conference speaker? With God’s guidance and God’s help. Remember, God’s wants us to pursue the “what” and trust Him for the “how”. And the “how” is a process, which He uncovers step-by-step in His timing.

I am still in the process of refining my ministry. I received my Master of Arts in Marriage & Family Therapy in 2007 (in a Christian Counseling program). I will begin a PhD. program in a few years. I am writing and accepting speaking invitations. God is preparing me to walk fully in my ministry, and He continues to uncover the “how” as I seek Him and pursue purpose daily.

If you are grappling with what your ministry is, examine your passions, explore your gifts, process your pain, and think about how they all tie together to help others. Pray and confirm that this is your “what”. Then, seek and trust God for the “how”, and walk boldly in your purpose!


Jacinta M. Gray,
The Couch Coach

    

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Mistakes


“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” ~Albert Einstein

I posted this quote to my Facebook Wall, and one of my friends commented, “Sounds like a good topic for a sermon. Amen!"

As I pondered over what to write in my freshman blog, I thought about this quote and my friend’s comment. I thought to myself, “That’s a good blog topic!”

How many reading this blog entry have ever made a mistake? If I could see a show of hands, I would guess that I would have a 100% response.

In thinking of my many mistakes, I can say the major ones stemmed from something new that I was trying. Mistakes happen when you dare to think, act, and live “outside the box”. This is a place outside of your normal “comfort zone”. This is when you dare to challenge the status quo.

Fear can paralyze us and keep us from trying new things. We fear the consequences that unsuccessful results may bring. This fear can stop our progress and growth. Often, it is only through trial and error that grand things can be accomplished. It’s a process. We use our mistakes as learning blocks to perfect the process until we realize our desired, successful results. If we fear moving forward because we might fail, then we can never achieve our goals.

The worst plan is the one never implemented. Even something planned that did not go as well as expected, is better than not implementing a plan at all. There continues to be forward movement. We learn from our mistakes and work to improve the plan. The key to a successful plan is to look at the big picture with the end goal in mind.

If you need motivation to try something new, follow these steps:

1. Press past your fears. For many, the first step to trying new things is releasing the anxiety of failure. If we accept that mistakes happen and are part of the learning process, then we are able to move beyond fear into action and implement our plans. Proceed forward with confidence in yourself and faith in God. Fear and faith cannot co-exist. Choose which one you will allow to guide your steps. Decide to either be paralyzed (by fear) or propelled (by faith).

2. Seek God. On some plans, we can spin our wheels, continue to make mistakes, and never see our desired, end result. This is because the plan is absolutely not sanctioned by God. I like the Message Bible’s version of Proverbs 19:21: “We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails.” God can use mistakes, failure, and denials to steer us in the intended direction. However, if you have been “trying” to implement a plan for years and never have any success and cannot seem to turn your mistakes around, examine your plan. Pray about your plan. Seek God. Your plan may not be in His will.

3. Extinguish insanity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The bottom line is that you have to do something different to get something different. If you keep repeating the same actions that lead to the same mistakes, you will certainly get the same results. Now, that’s just crazy! Take a walk on the sane side for a change. Try something new related to your plan.

4. Learn from past mistakes. Use past mistakes as lessons for present planning, and as stepping stones for future success. If you are extinguishing insanity and deciding to stop repeating past mistakes, you can reflect on what went wrong in the past. Implement steps that are counterintuitive to your past thinking and actions. Brainstorm specific ways to take a new approach based on what did not work before.

5. Celebrate small successes. Don’t let mistakes discourage you. Focus on the victories along the path to your end goal. I like to look at what is right in a situation, instead of what’s wrong. I look at what I do have, not at what I don’t have. As my favorite radio morning show host frequently says during his inspirational moment, “Your outlook determines your outcome.” If you focus on the small successes, and use your mistakes as tools for improvement, you will have positive results in the long run. Positive thoughts bring positive results.

6. Keep the end goal in mind. Don’t let mistakes distract you. Let them propel you toward your end goal. Press toward the mark. Remember, it's a process. Getting to the end goal is like running a marathon. It takes time. If you try to sprint the whole 26 miles, you will not likely make it to the finish line. At some points during the marathon, you might get side or leg cramps. You stop, stretch, and rest for a while until the cramps subside, but you continue in the marathon. You will get thirsty along the way or need an energy bar. You stop, eat, drink, and continue on in the marathon. Mistakes are like these pit stops in a marathon. A skilled, marathon runner, regulates his or her pace, stops when needed, makes necessary adjustments along the way, but stays in the race until the end.

Make a bold move today. Set aside your fear of mistakes, and try something new!


Jacinta M. Gray,
The Couch Coach